Thoughts of a Middle Aged Mind

“Me used to be angry young man Me hiding me head in the sand You gave me the word, I finally heard I’m doing the best that I can.” -Lennon/McCartney Good afternoon, Kinda like the idea of song titles and quotes to begin each post. Especially if I can find one that fits my mood, which shouldn’t be too hard, right? What does seem to be hard is writing this post, so I’m going to just start writing. Didn’t get a great night of sleep, but it doesn’t seem to have affected my mood. Counseling session went well and he agreed to keep it every other week. Now interestingly when discussing my near break down last weekend he said next time to try tapping on my chest to calm myself.  Ironically this is something the healer at the Ren Faire mentioned to me as a way to calm myself when I felt myself being triggered. She even went as far as to write down the gentleman's name and the name of the program (of course I lost the paper). But I remember that I subscribed to it on YouTube, so I am going t

Good Afternoon, How is everything my friends? For me they are going well. I am feeling pretty good. Still waking up before the alarm no matter what time I set the damn thing. Not sure if I mentioned this before, but I stopped sleeping with my Apple Watch and I truly do think I am sleeping better. I do miss not having it during the day, I keep looking at my arm for the time. Plus it unlocks my phone when I am wearing a mask. Haha! Today was Day 7 of the Insight Timers Beginners Guide to Meditation and I am proud to say I did it. Adding in the days before I found the Beginners Guide I have probably meditated for 10 or 11 days. I can in all honesty say I am starting to notice a difference. Take today for instance, I normally wait until my girls are off to school and the house is quiet before I start meditating. Today I was excited to finish the course, so I couldn’t wait. I started before one of them left and I heard her getting ready during my session. In the past this would have been a

Good Afternoon, I hope you are having a good day. Today’s been interesting to say the least. Good thing/Bad thing, I slept late. Good because I got the sleep I needed. I have recently started to stop sleeping with my Apple Watch. I thought I was doing a good thing by tracking my sleep, but it turns out it was notifying me for everything. Sometimes it was even telling me to close my ring by going for a brisk 15 minute walk at 2 am. Having not worn it for a few days now I am starting to think I don’t need it. Bad, because I am completely thrown off my morning routine. Usually when I come down in the morning that house is completely quiet. Of course it is why would anyone be up at 6 or 7 am if they didn’t have to. But it turns out if I don’t get that quiet time in the morning it sets up my day to be as smooth. Determined to not let it get in the way of having a great day I completed Day 5 of the 7 Day Beginners Guide to Meditation. It was much harder to shut off my brain later in the day.

  OK, so today is going to get an extra post because I just had a major freak out in a public place, which answered a very important question. “Am I ready for a concert?” After today that answer is a resounding no. In my last post I mentioned walking down to the Fall Festival. Well the weather turned out beautiful and the crowd was huge. At one point it didn’t matter which way I turned I had someone right up on me and no one (including myself) was wearing a mask. I know I didn’t expect that size of a crowd, so I’m guessing others didn’t either. They were offering free vaccine boosters, so my wife and oldest son got it done. I was too anxious at that point, so I did not get mine. All I knew was I needed to get out of there. Told my wife I was leaving and started walking home. However something in me told me to find a bench by myself and to breathe. That is exactly what I did and it worked, temporarily.  Since there were a few food trucks, we decided to give one we’ve never tried before

Good Morning, So sure enough the alarm was set for 6:30 am to get my son to work. Woke up at 5:40 am. I tried for a few minutes to go back to sleep, but after about 15 minutes I figured it was no use. So I started to get ready for my day. Now, I will say I do feel like I got a good night's sleep and I don’t remember waking up any other times, so that is good. I figured with having such a relaxing day I would have no trouble falling and staying asleep. So as I mentioned yesterday Allie and I were both having a Reiki session at a place just blocks from our house. I have to say I am having mixed feelings about my experience. For one my experience at the Ren Faire was much different than the one we experienced yesterday. That is not to say yesterday was bad. It was just different. At the Ren Faire she told us which ones were blocked and why they may be blocked and also gave solutions as to how to keep them open.  Another thing was that according to yesterday my Crown, Third Eye and Thr

Good Morning,  I normally do my writing later in the day, but I’m having a mixed day so far. This morning I woke up before my alarm as usual. It’s odd, it doesn't matter what time I set it for I always wake up before it. Drove my son to work, and then took advantage of the quiet and got in my morning meditation. Now as part of this journey I am on, I am always going to share with you what exactly I am using and how it affects me. So this morning I found an app on my phone that I had downloaded a while ago. It was recommended to me by the Mental Health Liaison I was speaking to back when I first started seeking help. The app is called Insight Timer. It has a whole bunch of free stuff on it. I’m guessing there is a pay model as well, but I’m going to take advantage of the freebies first. So the first thing I looked for and found was a Learn How To Meditate in Seven Days program. What I liked about it is that it did not make me feel bad when my mind wandered. It actually had a funny n