Wow, What Was That

 OK, so today is going to get an extra post because I just had a major freak out in a public place, which answered a very important question. “Am I ready for a concert?” After today that answer is a resounding no.

In my last post I mentioned walking down to the Fall Festival. Well the weather turned out beautiful and the crowd was huge. At one point it didn’t matter which way I turned I had someone right up on me and no one (including myself) was wearing a mask. I know I didn’t expect that size of a crowd, so I’m guessing others didn’t either.

They were offering free vaccine boosters, so my wife and oldest son got it done. I was too anxious at that point, so I did not get mine. All I knew was I needed to get out of there. Told my wife I was leaving and started walking home. However something in me told me to find a bench by myself and to breathe. That is exactly what I did and it worked, temporarily. 

Since there were a few food trucks, we decided to give one we’ve never tried before a shot, so we started walking over towards it. Well at some point my wife got distracted and didn’t tell me she was stopping somewhere and I lost her. Well that was not good, I nearly had a melt down right there in front of everyone. There I was spinning around and around looking for her. I honestly felt like a kid who lost his mom. I’m embarrassed about how I acted. Which I know is me just being hard on myself.

I’m here to say I am a work in progress and that is ok. My superhero wife was able to calm me down and we ended up finding a nice place to sit and eat. Unfortunately my nerves were already shot and now I am exhausted. All the emotions flooding me at once is exasperating! I am grateful that I learned that I am not ready for large crowds at something that was smaller in size and didn’t waste my money on a concert or something of that nature.

I think I’m going to put on some Bob Marley and smoke a bowl to calm myself down. 

See ya